Chief Tantra

"Let's have sex,"  she said.
"Great!"  said Bastante.
"But wait,"  she said, "I want an exclusive commitment."

Bastante studied her.  She had slept with several of his friends.  To be fair, they had been attempts at monogamy that hadn't worked.  She was a serial monogamist.

In Bastante's world, serial monogamy was emotionally equivalent to polyamory.  He tried to explain.
"Look, i watched you hook up with other dudes.  We had a connection, we liked each other, but you wanted to pursue something else.  No big deal.  I had feelings of jealousy and envy and insecurity and unworthiness and of course anger arise.  These emotions were my responsibility to deal with, right?  Its my job to experience these emotions, and be at peace with them, and find happiness and contentment in the midst of their presence.  They were my emotions, my responsibility.  Not your emotions, not your responsibility.  Right?"

She looked at him, waiting for the opportunity to get defensive and self-righteous.  So far, nothing.  She didn't like where this was going, but she couldn't help but agree with him, so far.

He continued.
"The source of my power comes from my capacity to accept reality as it is, without needing it to be anything else for me to be content.  This is the source of all power - the capacity to accept the truth, and be at peace with it.  And the truth is, I watched you hook up with other guys and it brought up negative feelings, and I simply observed my emotions without needing to do anything about it,  and maintained my peace of mind, and that's the heart of tantric practice.

"And because I've watched you date other dudes, I've trained myself to care for you unconditionally, regardless of who you're fucking.  And so I've already gone through the emotional hell of polyamory with you, because I've experienced jealousy and possessiveness and insecurity and anger while you did your thing, and overcame all those negative emotions with love and compassion.

"And now you want to shag, which is fabulous, but your version of monogamy is serial, kind of a time-lapse- polyamory thing, where you're with different guys at different points in time, then there's some breakup, and negative emotions, and blame, and then you move on... serial monogamy is basically polyamory without the self-reflection.  Its an attempt at avoiding jealousy and insecurity and possessiveness, by obeying some rule that eventually someone gets tired of obeying.  Externally enforced serial monogamy is a control trip, the accidental manufacture of codependence.  The only true monogamy is spontaneous, ever and ever affirmed in the present moment.

"And the jealousy and insecurity and possessiveness you fear and wish to avoid, I wish to also avoid, but in loving you and watching you do your thing I have gone through it already.  And with every breakup you experienced all these negative emotions, anyway, despite your intentions to stay safe.  Your monogamy is serial, and so you go through pain again and again after every breakup.  And if we get together you are destined to go through it with me, regardless of whether or not we are polyamorous, because according to your pattern we will break up in the end which will bring up all the negative emotions you've been hiding from.  You have spent your life avoiding the negative emotions that arise in intimate relationship, and are still running away.  It's time for you to face these negative emotions, and be at peace with them.  Confronting our own negative feelings and being at peace with them is the heart of tantric practice.  It is how we bring light to the darkness."

As he expected, she said something mean and refused to talk to him any more.  Most chicks couldn't handle the truth.  Bastante sighed, and went back to his mediation-