The dawning of the Sat Yuga

This is what Bastante Solipsis said to the tribal star children elders:

"Relatives, I want to speak briefly about yoga.  According to the science of yoga, our sun orbits the central sun of the Milky Way galaxy and travels through the equivalent of four seasons as it does so.  They're not called seasons in yoga, though - they're called yugas.  A Yuga is a period of time, and there are four yugas - the Sat Yuga, the Treta Yuga, the Dwapara Yuga, and the Kali Yuga.  They are the four ages of time, the Golden Age, the Silver Age, the Copper Age, and the Iron Age.  As we pass through the yugas, we pass though frequency densities of electromagnetic energy, and these energies resonante with various chakras.  We are coming out of a lower vibrational period, and entering into a higher vibrational period."

Bastante took in the room, and continued- "It is written that the beginning of the Kali Yuga was marked by the death of Krishna.  And the guru of Paramhansa Yogananda, a spiritual teacher of the highest order named Sri Yuktiswariji, wrote a book titled, "The Holy Science", in which he states unequivocally that the Sat Yuga is beginning right about now.  We are coming out of the Kali Yuga and entering into the Sat Yuga.  We are entering the Golden Age."

The Star Children listened with rapt attention.

"Relatives," said Bastante Solipsis Marquez, "Krishna is the great teacher of the dharma, and his death marked the beginning of the Kali Yuga.  He taught yoga; he was an incarnation of Vishnu.  And Vishnu will reincarnate again as Kalki, the last incarnation of Vishnu, at the end of the Age."

No one blinked.

"Krishna's teaching is contained within the Bhagavad Gita, the sacred text of Hinduism.  And in 2020, there is the distinct possibility that a young woman, aged 39 or 40, will get elected President of the United States of America, and she won't take her oath of office on the Bible - she'll take her oath of office on the Bhagavad Gita, the teaching of Krishna."

He paused for effect.  "Relatives, if the death of Krishna marked the beginning of the Kali Yuga, what better sign that the Sat Yuga has begun than the election of a  young Hindu female President of the United States of America who takes her oath of office by swearing on a copy of the Bhagavad Gita?"